Sunday, August 22, 2010

I have a new family member

I have been working on my daughter and her fiances wedding plans for some time now. I finally got Jessica to agree on a location! Big plans are all in the works and most of the details are worked out. Then Jessica called me in the middle of a huge convention. She and Jeff eloped. They flew to Vegas and eloped! Really?? Really! Well, I was, and still am speachless over this. I mean, I am happy for them, and I'm sure that they made this decision together and found it to be the best for them. I mean, that's the most important thing. Billy and I are just really shocked! We will have to shift gears on the whole reception thing, but will still have it close to the original plan. Jessica has always been extremely good at the whole shock factor thing, but she out-did herself this time Anniversary date will be Aug. 22 now. So, now we have a new son in law; Jeff Becker. Welcome to the family Jeff! Shocking stuff! That's all I can say!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

cats and peoples


Peoples: "oh, look at the cute kitties! Lets keep them! Cats:"" Hmmm, wonder if the peoples are good to eats?" Peoples: See? They like us! They are rubbing on our legs! We definately should keep them! Lets give them very cute names!! Cats: They must taste good, I can smells bacon and eggs!! Cats: Let us in, Let us in! Peoples: No kitties, you can't come inside! Well, maybe for a little while. You are so cute! ~Opens door. Cats: Let us out, let us out! Peoples: Okay kitties, you can go out now. ~opens door. Cats peek outside, but remain inside. Cats: we were just checking to be sure that we could get you to do that. We want to stay in. ~Door shuts. Cats: we want to go out now! Peoples: I just opened the door for you, you don't really want to go out, silly kitties. Cats: Open the door, open the door, open the door, open the door, open the door! Peoples: Alright! ~door opens~ Now go outside. Cats: We just want to stand in the doorway. ~Flies come in, A/C goes out, Peoples get frustrated.... Cats: We like this new place.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

You'll all be seeing a little less of me

Okay, I am finally committed to a diet. It's been a while since I have uttered that filthy little four letter word, but there it is. In black and white. I stepped out of the shower and caught one too many glimpses of my naked self, and the truth is there staring back at me. You are what you eat. I apparently eat way too much fat! Ah, those lovely huge bowls of ice cream piled up high in my bowl, sometimes just barely able to cover the fruits and other yummy sweets smothered in the pure delight! ~Why have ice cream alone when cookies, candies and syrups all blend so nicely?! I would find the smallest spoon so as not to eat this bowl of joy in too big a rush! NO! I must savor every sweet morsel! Savor, I did! Now look! I am filling up on a gallon of water and loving my 500 calorie diet! (I AM actually very full right now) I can count on some very tough times ahead, but I can also see me going clothes shopping!!!! I also have some very good friends along for this torturous ride of slender beauty! So, I bid you ado, and see a little less of me around here. ;)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

workin' for a livin'

Okay, so there are many, many good people out there that are unemployed or under-employed. Then there's me. Overemployed. I am a one of a kind. If you look up "over-employed" in wikipedia, you will see me. Alone. I have 2 full time jobs, both in home health, a part time gig called Mona Vie (this will be where I make my fortune) and then run the little farm that we call home. Oh, and did I mention that I am helping plan my daughters wedding?? All I can say is THANK GOD for cell phones! I am on mine from 7ish in the morning to after 10 at night! I drive about 150-200 miles a day 7 days a week, so this leaves more phone time. I am constantly working on the phone to set up an appointment for home health or to set up a tasting or share some Mona Vie info with friends and anyone that is needing some perfect nutrition and might want to add some extra spending money on the side. ~Hey, if I can find time, you can find time! So, now I'm off to see another patient, then pick up my husband to take him with me to the next visit so we can squeeze in some grandbaby time! Good thing we have Mona Vie so we can keep up this pace ;)
You should call me if I don't have your number. You can have all of this energy too!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Little things....

I know it doesn't seem like much; hardly worth mentioning. But there it is. "Orientating" or worse yet "orientated". When these mispronounced words are uttered by some very educated folk, I just cringe. When you are being familiarized with a new job or new surroundings, you become "oriented". When you are training a new employee, they are "orienting". There. I said it, and now I will drop it. But that means that you must do your best to stop saying it wrong! For the love of Pete!!
Other little things... When you are changing lanes on the highway, put your signal on and then.... TURN IT OFF! We don't know if you are still planning to come over one more lane or if you are trying to fool us! Don't you see the little idiot light in your dash going "blink-a-blink-a-blink"? Curious as to why this is happening?? Have you taken drivers ed??? You may try reading the owners manual! And, dare I say it??? If you are 110 years old and find it difficult to see the road beyond your dash board, try STAYING AT HOME!! Again, for the love of Pete! You should donate that Olds or Plymouth to charity and find interesting things to do at HOME where you are not risking your life and everyone else's on the road!
I suppose I am spending a lot of time driving these days, as it is a large part of my job. I won't sleep and drive if you won't text and drive. I will drive with the traffic, (as opposed to against it) if you don't lane jump like this is all just some fun video game. Okay, I'm done for the night. I am going to go home and get disoriented with a fine glass of wine and get some sleep. ~Night

Monday, July 5, 2010

Fences

I once read a great little atricle titled "Interview With A Goat" . In it, the interviewer asks the goat about the need for strong fences. The goat replied "no, we don't need much in the way of fences, just stand us in a field and we'll stay right there". "Not really, we need fences that will hold water in and a crazed bull out". This is a fact. I have found that my goats see a fence as a challenge. "Oh look... the silly woman has put up a fence" Electric huh? Well, it only bites for a second, and then we have all of the neighbors beautiful ornimental plants and, oh... is that a huge garden over there?? Why yes it is!! Do goats like watermelon? Not sure, lets try it. STRAWBERRIES!!! They are to die for!!
Last week my 2 goats were out browsing the yard for some yummy weeds and found themselves at the top of the yard next to the fence. Leotie looks at the wonderful and bountiful weeds on the other side and has a "go for it" look in her eye. She is the smarter of the two goats. Kiowa is the "blonde" of the two. Leotie scales the fence in no time and is busily munching the weeds on the roadside. Kiowa tries her hand, er.. hoof at scaling the fence. Poor blonde thing..... She gets her front end over, but in the process, get her back leg hung in the electric wire. Not to worry... just kick around some, says Leotie. The fence is not on, so no problemo, right? That should do it. No? Kick around some more. This time add some twisting motion to the kicking thing. Hmm.... still stuck? well, can you sort of turn your head and eat some yummy weeds while you hang there? Now, see? You can do it! This isn't so bad, huh? Leotie is such a smart ass. Kiowa is just hangin' around when the man comes home and sees Leotie at the top of the driveway. Then he spots Kiowa. All he sees is the 2 legs sticking up in the air. Digging around in the weeds, he finds Kiowa just trying to eat the weeds that she is plopped in. The man works like mad and is able to free the poor blonde thing. At least they aren't as bad as the sheep.... I put 3 sheep out in the yard and in 2 minutes flat, one had hog tied herself! While untying her, the other two wrapped themselves up together! Amazing! At my house, you must carry wire cutters with you at all times!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Barking Dogs

Okay,it's 1:50 am, I as sleeping soundly when the sound kept going on and on. I knew it was my dog. Okay, I get up and groggily find my way to the bathroom in the pitch dark. Now, I am waking up more and I know this isn't just run of the mill dog barking. Something is really agitating my dog! Okay, I step out on the front deck and see the outline of someone else's dog in my yard. Looks like it is very interested in something on the ground. I run out into the dark in my T-shirt and underwear, barefooted and have flashlight in hand. The strange dog grabs a goose and runs up the driveway dragging the goose.... flop, flop, flop go the goose feet trying to get away. I run up the driveway and down the road, still barefooted and in very little clothing. All the way to the corner. The dog and goose have disappeared. I go back and get pajama pants on and get the van. No sign of the dirty, flock stealing dog. I decide that it's a lost cause and go home, shutting the gate behind me to hopefully avoid any further lost animals to this strange dog. I pat my dog on the head for a job well done, being that she was in the goat pen and could not get out to chase the offending dog away. I lay awake until 3 am, when I finally drag myself back to bed. I awoke to the sound of a goose honk in the living room of my house. Okay, now that's quite odd! I get up to tell my husband that we only have 3 geese as the dog stole one during the night, and that I didn't have the presence of mind to grab a gun, just a flashlight. But as I enter the living room, Billy is standing in the door with the goose in his arms. She is wounded, but found the strength to fight off the dog and get home, get through the closed gate and back to the comfort of her flock. My dog Pearl is very excited to see the goose return and is on he trail of the strange dog. Good dog. I am not particularly fond of the geese, they are great at eating grass and bugs as well as a few snakes here and there, but I got them for my dinner table. I'll be sure to give some to Pearl for doing a great job in guarding.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Geese ~cute little bugeaters??

Okay, I've been down this road before. I may be a little forgetful, but I knew there was something evil and underhanded about geese. Yet, when my friend called me about 6 weeks ago and asked if I wanted some baby geese for free, I didn't hesitate! Sure! I'll be right over!. I loaded 4 huge 7 week old "baby" geese into a large box in the back of my van. There was much kicking and screaming and a few near escapes during the 30 minute drive home. ~From the geese, not me. Not yet. I got them out of the box and into a 6X8 pen to get them acclimated to the new place. Then, one of them is very tricky and is able to escape the pen. I put it back and check for open areas. None. Next morning, one is out again. Okay, everyone out. You can have my yard and eat my bugs and nibble on the plentful weeds and grasses. In the blink of an eye, they are HUGE! These geese are at least 40 pounders and they are getting that look in their eyes when they see me out in MY yard. Their heads go down and they are braced for the attack mode. I weild my "gose wacker" and brave the angry mob. Waiting for them to attack Billy. Then and only then will I get the okay to start the butchering of the wicked geese. I don't get it though. Why do they get mean to the people that they see every day? I am not mean to them, I don't taunt them or chase them.... Do they not know how tasty they are? I have told them on a daily basis of how I will skewer them and roast their fat bodies if they keep challenging me. ~I say this in a very affectionate tone. I am just waiting. I know that it will happen, I just don't know when. There will be a feast, and it will include goose liver pate!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Procrastination and Reprieve!

Sometimes, and I do mean sometimes... you catch a break while procrastinating. I did get the tickets to Md and back, and by waiting a few more days, was able to get them cheaper than before! Yeah! I do see that this waiting til the last second is not a good trait, and I will no longer do this. Staring next month. Well, maybe I can start in July because June isn't such a busy month. I am procrastinating my procrastination! What foolishness is this?! It's kinda like coffee.... I brew it to be nice and hot, then I add some cold creamer. Then I forget about it for a little while and it gets luke warm. Well, I could heat it back up, or... I could let it sit a little longer! Iced coffee is pretty good too ya know. Maybe I should get out that pesky note book that I had Billy write all of my "To Do" things on. ~See, I'm even too lazy to write them down myself! I wanted to start making some wine for Jessicas wedding in October. If I get on it now, it'll be ready in time. But, if I start it now, someone else would have to tend to it while I am in Maryland. So, you see~ one must procrastinate! Like the chicken and duck eggs that I was going to set to hatch. I could have started them on the weekend, but then someone else would have had to turn them while I am gone. I will have to put these things off until I get back out of sheer thoughtfulness to the others that will be doing some of my chores while I am gone.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Why do today what you can put off until, oh crap.... I put it off too long.

Okay, way back around the begining of the year, I had a conversation with my dear old friend (not that she is old, mind you; but we have been friends since 1975). So anyway, we were talking about how cool it would be to get all of us friends together and have a big blowout "friends reunion"! Okay, she thought it was a wonderful idea! I had to do this!! So, with the help of facebook, I created this little shindig. I knew long ago that I would need to get airplane tickets. I knew when I would need to be there for Christ's sake, I am the so called brains behind this thing! Well, I have to find some cheap tickets for next week. I am such a great procrastinator, that I have failed to secure a flight for my husband and myself. I may have to pull out he big guns and get on the prayer lists of many to pull this one off! I have so many people that are going to be looking for me in a week.... in Maryland! So, I'm thinking; if you happen to have a few thousand air miles just sitting around collecting dust, um, er...well, you might think about, well... hey. At this point, I am looking for a miracle! Not like the ones we searched for at Grateful Dead concerts... I need 2 round trip tickets to DC for next weekend! For less than $500. Or, maybe you are a pilot and have a plane in your hanger. I am definately up for an adventure :) Well, I'll be waiting to hear from you. My bags are packed and my cabin at the beach is reserved. I really don't want to get the postcard from my friends with a picture of my cabin and a "wish you were here" scrawled across it.