Beds

I woke up this morning at 5 am. I almost (almost) smiled at the funny thought that was in my head as I awoke. My thought was that my memory foam mattress must have alzhiemers. Now, mind you, I can sleep in just about anything including a very short trip in the elevator (2 floors down, standing up) I can sleep in any position. I have been known to sleep in my toy box when I was a kid, and also my pillow case! I have slept in hammocks strung from trees in the median on I-95 when I used to do a lot of traveling in other peoples cars. I have napped in an igloo that we made in our front yard (Gainesboro Rd in Rockville, Md) I have slept in the dog house with the dog, I have slumbered in many a pool side lounge chair while bands played at pool parties at the beach. I have dozed at the wheel a few times! ~Yikes! I nodded while in for my semi-annual EEG as a pre-teen. Slumbered in lithotripsy, snoozed at the movies, napped in waiting rooms, really. I can sleep anywhere! But this mattress of mine is trying to kill me! I find myself sleeping with my body pillow rolled into a ball and me draped over it face down into the mattress, or sleeping with my head at the foot of the bed. I toss and turn in my sleep and dream that my back is broken! So, now I have a plan!! I must keep it a secret from the memory foam mattress, as I am sure that it would retaliate further and surely do me in whilst I snooze tonight... But I will be shopping for a new bed. My most clever idea is to take a box knife and cut the evil memory foam mattress up into cusions for my garden furniture! I will aquire some fancy material and make some covers for the cusions and viola! I will never have to worry that some poor homeless guy will find old Alzhiemerish memory foam matty and have horrible nights of painful unrest! No, not even the cats will want to slumber on these cusions! Oh, and if I have any left over pieces, I may make an ottoman and rest my stinky feet upon this old mattress! Hahahaha!!!