Go see your mama

 Things sometimes just work out. Sometimes it takes a life-changing event, or even 2 to bring things together. This was the case for my week. We were planning my sister's memorial when my sons friend lost her mom suddenly. I think that the combination of those 2 deaths pushed my son into realizing how precious family is and that we don't  know how much time we have on this Earth. So Casey decided that he needed to come up from around the Austin area to be with me for the memorial and just enjoy our visit. I couldn't have been happier to have his company! And when it came time for me to read my speech, I started out fine. But that last page I got choked up and couldn't  finish. Casey finished it for me. 🥲 We visited for 3 days and talked about old family memories. Very healing to have the adult children around when big things happen. We need the reconnecting.  I needed to be the mama and support my son and cook for him too. Kids, go visit your mama. Our days aren't promised! 

Ginnys memorial

 

Last month we said our final goodbye to our eldest sister. Today, we will hold a memorial in a most untraditional way. 

The family and many friends are in all 4 corners of the world and with no feasable way to gather in person, we will gather on line. I will say that our family is not all that traditional, we have finally for the most part blended together now. Coming from a mother that was very insecure and had difficulty showing affection after the kids were over 8 years old, and a father that drank hard and worked like a dog and had often displayed anger and rage, I'd  say that we came through alright. Not without the Grace of God though! Ginny had a good relationship with God and was saved back in the mid 70's. She battled mental illness and many physical ailments as well. But through it all, she kept the faith! She had such humor and a quick witt that the friends she made through the years will likely not forget her! I know that I'll always think of her when I see a peanuts cartoon, Dr Who show or hear songs from the early 60's like Bicycle built for 2, or Henry the 8th I am! 

I'll get a rush of emotions when I look through the many texts that we shared, and browse the pictures that thankfully we have! I'll  never eat another olive without thinking of her. Nor will I have a "juicy hamburger" and a vanilla ice cream without a flood of last days memories overwhelm my emotions and cause my eyes to leak. ~as they are right now. 

So, for now, we will continue on until the Lord calls us home. And then, my dear sister, we will be together again! We will laugh, sing and rejoice!

Blessings today

 I woke up early and went out back to check on the animals. The dogs stayed out all night and greeted me as I came into view. I spent a few minutes loving on them and turned my nose up at their stinky fur. Whew! Y'all need a bath!! They disagree and go off romping together in the back yard. Then I checked in on the rabbits. We have been raising meat rabbits for years and I just love them. Well, to my surprise,  one of my young mamas

had another litter (kindling) this morning and they were cold! She hadn't pulled much fur and had them on the mesh instead of the welping box. I quickly gathered them up. 12 this time! I brought them inside and placed them in a large plastic bag and set the bag into a bowl of nice warm water to quickly warm them up. While they were warming, I went out back and prepped the cage for them and then returned the now only 11 babies to the mama. 1 did not recover from getting so cold. Mama was happy to have them back in the pen and settled into her role. I finished feeding and watering the other rabbits and the chickens. Attempted to shoo away a stray kitten from the neighboring woods, but this kitty is determined to stay! Well, time was moving on and I still needed to get my coffee and dress for the day. Taxes are due, my drivers licence was up for renewal and the best part... my son was on his way up for a visit! The rest of the day was spent looking over the critters, catching up with my son and filing for an extension for the taxes. They can wait! Thank you Lord God for such gifts 🥰

Grandpas

What Grandpas do. There is something wonderful about watching a grandpa with his grandkids. The way they connect is on a very different level than Grandmas and Grandkids. It's instructions. It's carefulness. It's one on one life. Watching Billy going over gun safety ~again with Bailey before she gets to shoot her Red Rider. That right there is precious! She gives him all of her attention, and it pays off big! When she gets to line up on her target and squeeze of a shot that strikes the bulls eye, she looks at Grandpa and sees how proud he is of her! This is Grandfathering at it's best! I can only imagine that they will have this same look on their faces when he teaches her to drive a car or talks to her about boys and dating and not to rush into that sort of thing. They have a great respect for each other. He loves introducing her to new things including foods from other countries. And she is always willing to try these new foods! I hope that one day she will learn to cook from Grandpa. He is a wonderful cook, and is the most patient person I've ever known.

Golden years and what makes them golden.

Someone very dear to me said recently "Do whatever makes you happy." I know what would make me happy. Aside from spending the rest of my days and nights with my husband of nearly 30 years, I look forward to retirement in just a little over 3 years from now. In the retirement years, I hope to spend lots of days with my daughter, sons, their families and do the little things together that will make memories that will last well beyond my years. I want to make jelly with my daughter and grandkids. I want to spend lazy hours watching the kids play at the beach or lake while chatting with my children. I want to spend holidays with them. I want to be there to help paint a wall, pick up the grandkids after school when the schedule is hectic. Be available when there is sickness or injury. I want to make my golden years golden. Maybe I want a Waltons kind of life. I want to always be a mom and grandma to my kids and their kids. I want them to call me randomly and just chat for a minute to tell me about something that made their day or ask how to make some old recipe. This is what makes me happy. This is what golden is.

Raised By Wolves

When I was growing up, I had some understanding that I was different than my siblings. I never understood why. I was the 5th child and maybe my parents, mainly my Mom had just gotten tired of doing the parenting. By the time I was 8, I had a new baby brother that was taking up all of Moms time and energy. We had to tiptoe around and only whisper so as to not wake the baby! The entire neighborhood was well aware of this including the ice cream man. Poor Good Humor guy... It's tough to get verbally beat up by a mother that is frantic about her baby getting enough nap time! So, there I was. 8 years old and having to fend for myself. It all started out innocently enough; having to make my own breakfast or lunch, figuring out that it IS okay to eat a "raw hot dog" and cold spinach. Drinking milk from the carton to avoid having to wash a glass was my new trick! Until that one night that I accidentally grabbed the carton of buttermilk! YUCK! Dad caught me and got a good laugh over that move. So, as I was discovering how to use an alarm clock to get myself up for school, I slowly became more and more independent. Within a few months, I tried smoking cigarettes. This impressed my big brothers friend and I felt very grown up, so I continued. Over the next few years, I was like a street urchin only one with a home to come into at night. I hung out at the drug store, stole candy bars, flirted with boys and then with drugs. At the ripe old age of 12 I was seduced by a 24 year old pervert with some pot and a bong. He was a bastard from hell and raped me after getting me so stoned that I passed out. Afterwards, I was a 12 year old on a mission to just find love. Now, as you all know love is found in all sorts of places and from all sorts of things. I was pretty sure that if a boy liked me, then I was likable. If I allowed him to become intimate with me, I was certain that I was lovable! At least for a little while. I was "ruined" and was sure that I asked for what I got. I was hell bent on using and abusing all men. I began living as dangerously as I could. I was one of the daring young fools that found great pleasure in hitch hiking all over the US. I got to feel very special when I would become the story teller in each car or truck that picked me up. Growing up, I never got the full attention of an adult for more than a good talking to or a whipping. I would be something special to my new friends in whatever town I would stay in for the week, and then again felt very special when I got back home. I loved feeling special! This became my new addiction for the next 5 years and I traveled away from home and almost always alone about 2 weeks every month. I learned a lot of important things about how to survive, what to look for when a ride stops for you and most importantly, how to quickly dive out of a car when things were going very wrong! I don't know how many angels I had wrapped around me in those days. A bunch for sure! So, I spun my stories and as I did, I realized in each story, there was some truth about myself that I hadn't known before the story came out of my mouth. I suppose I was my best counselor and even though there were some awful bad things that happened to me while I was growing up, I chose to take the positive from each experience and move on. There are a lot of wolves out there. Some where there to teach me and some were there to destroy me. They all had a part in my raising. I made it though, in spite of myself! I am in my 50's now and have a fantastic husband, 3 grown kids and 3 grand babies. I have a stable and happy life filled with stable and happy friends. So, I guess the moral of my story is even wolves can raise a family.... or even when raised by wolves, there is always hope of a bright future. I write this for those of you in the world that are still struggling to find happiness in all the wrong places. I want to tell you that there is a true and perfect love only in God. The most awesome part is if you knew him and turned away from him in order to follow your own wants, He is right where you left Him. He is waiting for you to come back.His arms are open wide and with Him, you can build your life right.Your reward is greater than anything that you can imagine! You think Christian life is boring? Then you don't know me or my stable and happy friends! I've looked at this life through drugged vision and clear vision. This is most certainly the best. I invite you to join me.

Where are we going, and why are we in this hand basket?

I will start this post on the state of our country. It is in a big ol' white hot mess! That is a problem at this time of year at elections.... we have to sort out the truths from the lies. We have to play this "who done it" kind of game and be strong and don't fall for the media hype or succumb to peer pressure. We are adults, and it is up to us to sort it all out and then pray, and then vote. I have actually lost friends over this subject. I don't understand why someone would unfriend me because I have an opinion! Really? We should all just follow along like sheep? I disagree. We each are given free will and an opportunity to sort out the stands of each candidate, then put that to the test of what our own beliefs are. On the stand of Pro life... I can honestly say that I WAS pro choice. I had never really given it much thought. I just looked at it like someone else would probably want this to be available to them for whatever reason. I didn't know or even want to know about what is done to abort a baby or fetus... whatever term you like. I have done my research and was appalled at the reality of this and quickly changed my stand on this matter. I have since come back to The Lord and I know that I know... this is the right choice for anyone that is a believer. You must do what is right in Gods eyes, not what is right for you at the time. On the subject of our constitutional rights. First, I suggest that you read them. Then expand on each one and get an understanding of what each one means to you and what your life would be like without that right. I wish that this was a subject in elementary schools...Constitution 101. We all need to know what our rights are why they were written. In this you will see why we should be wanting less government. I do not want to wake up one morning to find that I can no longer have a gun to protect myself from ANY intruder including government forces that want to surrender all of my livestock or tax 100% of my earnings. They are my EARNINGS. The more I get to keep, the more I have to spend at the local mom and pop stores, the more I will have to tithe, the less I will need to ask big brither for assistance... oh, that's right, they want me to depend on them. I can't do it. I truely enjoy being as self sufficient as possible and teaching others what I know as well as learning from them in return! Tonight is another debate. I will watch this and then turn the TV off. I do not want to hear what the liberal media have to say. I will check the fact checker and make my own opinions. I hope that you will do this too. After election day, I will post something witty. Promise!